Amanda Palmer has never played by the rules—whether in music or in love. As the lead singer and pianist of The Dresden Dolls, the singer and songwriter built a career on raw, unfiltered storytelling. But her personal life? Just as unconventional.
In 2007, Palmer casually mentioned that the artist is bisexual but never gave it much thought. Over the years, Amanda has been in open relationships, spoken openly about having three abortions, and even turned those experiences into music.
Her song “Voicemail for Jill” from There Will Be No Intermission was her way of offering comfort to women going through the same thing. “I wrote this song as a gift, a handbook for any woman on her way to have an abortion, and as a reminder that this is not an experience you have to face alone,” the artist shared.
As if navigating open relationships wasn’t already complicated, Palmer also went through a divorce. She was once married to Neil Gaiman, the celebrated author behind Coraline and American Gods, and their relationship was anything but traditional. They had an open marriage, but even that wasn’t enough to keep things together.
So, what really went down between Amanda and Neil? Let’s take a closer look.
Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman Got Engaged in 2010
Gaiman didn’t go for a traditional diamond ring when the elite author popped the question to his partner Amanda Palmer. Instead, on New Year’s Day 2010, Neil pulled out a Sharpie and drew a ring on her finger—a fittingly quirky proposal for a couple known for breaking the mold.
At the time, Gaiman had recently moved on from his first marriage to Mary McGrath, a Minneapolis native. He shares three children with his ex-wife.
After finalizing their divorce in 2008, Neil and Palmer went public with their relationship, making their first major appearance together at the Golden Globe Awards on January 17, 2010. Not long after, they took to Gaiman’s blog to announce their engagement.
Over the years, they collaborated on several projects, including the short film Statuesque, written by Gaiman, and a playful sock-puppet recreation of Labyrinth.
Palmer and Gaiman’s Wedding in TwitPics in 2011
A year after getting engaged, Amanda and Neil tied the knot in January 2011.
The ceremony took place in the cozy parlor of authors Ayelet Waldman and Michael Chabon, and instead of a grand announcement, they broke the news with a series of tweets.
Palmer teased their followers with:
“Hey guess what we did last night (and this time it’s legal).”
Gaiman followed up with his own post:
“I am the happiest and luckiest man in the world. Thank you to @ayeletw and her family for giving us their parlour, their hospitality & love.”
But perhaps the most fitting detail? Palmer wore the same dress the musician had used for busking 12 years earlier, now dry-cleaned and ready for its big moment. Gaiman proudly shared, “The best thing about the dress is that it was Amanda’s original 12-year-old busking wedding dress. Dry-cleaned. @amandapalmer and I tangoed. She was wonderful. I was appalling. It was great.”
An Open Marriage That Didn’t Last
Even after saying “I do,” Palmer and Gaiman didn’t follow a conventional married life. They often lived apart for months at a time and openly encouraged each other to have affairs.
According to Palmer’s close friends, the most important rule in their relationship was honesty—they found that sharing the details of their extramarital encounters, and sometimes even sharing the same partners, strengthened their bond.
Their Divorce Took Years to Finalize
By 2020, rumors of their separation started circulating. They briefly reconciled in 2021, but in November 2022, they officially announced their split in a joint statement.
“After many years of marriage, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. While we will no longer be partners in marriage, we will remain in one another’s lives as co-parents committed to raising our wonderful son in a loving and compassionate environment. We deeply appreciate everyone respecting our family’s privacy so we can focus on our son as we enter this new chapter in our lives.”
Despite their unconventional love story, their focus remained on co-parenting their son, proving that while their marriage didn’t last, their connection as a family endures.
Palmer and Gaiman Have a Son
Palmer and her ex-husband Neil Gaiman welcomed their son on September 16, 2016, at 8:37 AM after what the couple described as a long but rewarding labor. Though his birth registration lists his name as Anthony, the couple affectionately referred to him as Squeaker.
